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21 Candles: Significantly Taken pt 2

29 May 2012

I invited David to come out for InterVarsity on April 12th because I knew that he has a heart for worship and we were having worship and prayer that night. I had already made plans to go to an EMU food services’ pancake dinner with some friends so I just invited David to come along with us after IV. He agreed and I was pretty excited. However, after worship, a handful of people came back to the apartment just to hang out until the pancake extravaganza. After a little while, David and I decided not to go and after awhile it was just he and I hanging out. There was a long, but comfortable silence. Finally David said, “Well, you know what I am going to say so I may as well say it…” and after a really long elegant speech that stirred my heart, he said “Would you honor me with the privilege of going out with me?” (or something like that anyway) I had been praying about it that whole silence, because he was right and I did know what he was going to say, and felt that God was telling me to say yes. Actually, there was more dialogue between He and I. It went like this:

Danike, I am giving you this man.

“God, I just promised you that I wouldn’t date. I mean, I really like him and I really, really want to go out with him, but I promised you…”

Danike, don’t be afraid. Let me bless you.

So, when David asked, I said yes. And I am so glad that I did.

The three weeks of being in a relationship, I was in the upper peninsula at Cedar Campus volunteering for a few weeks and then attending Chapter Focus Week. I know it probably seems like an unfortunate way to start a relationship, but it worked out fine. We talked on the phone every day. During that time, I experienced a plethora of emotions and David was able to, for the first of many times, comfort me and encourage me as my boyfriend.

When I got home, he began to see how much work God needed to do on my heart. I didn’t know how to show love to a significant other or how to receive it, for that matter. I wasn’t comfortable with being serious and turned everything into a joke. To add on to that, I have always had lots of guy friends and very few lady friends, and sometimes none at all. So, in order to get to my heart,  he had to maneuver around all the obstacles (of my insecurities in the realm of love, my wounds, my unhealthy relationships…) I unknowingly put up around myself. And I hurt him a lot. He had every reason to give up on our relationship and, quite frankly, I was sure he would. But, he didn’t.

Because God had brought us together. There is no other way to put it. He almost ended up somewhere far away from SE Michigan. I was far away from SE Michigan and almost didn’t come back. I was looking to transfer to a school in Berlin, or Texas, or the UP. Even after obeying God and moving back to SE MI, I fought every invitation to go to Dearborn. Every week, Sarah W invited me. Every week I made up some crap excuse to not go. So, God brought David to me. God gave David’s brother-in-law Doug a vision telling him that David would be meeting someone special that he was supposed to help heal, that this person would be his prize, his trophy. David had a dream that he was fishing and he caught the biggest, most beautiful fish in the entire lake. God told him that the dream was about me. God told me to open my heart and get in a relationship with this guy. Time and time again, things told us that we were supposed to be together. Prayer walks, prophetic word from peers, God speaking to us directly…

and this: When I was about 10 or 11, I started praying for my future husband because I wanted him to be right with God. I wanted him to be the kind of guy who would push my in my faith and protect my heart. If you hear David’s testimony, you’d find that around that time is when he started realizing that he didn’t like where his life was going and started turning to go down the path that ultimately led him to knowing God. He started praying for his future wife when he became a Christian. We can pin this down to around October or November 2007, which, for those of you how remember my story, is when my mom tried killing herself the first time. And after that is when God started tearing down my walls and showing me that I can go deeper still in our relationship.

So, David didn’t give up on me. And after a lot of pain inflicted by me, long talks, and prayer, we decided that set up boundaries with those of the opposite sex. I wouldn’t hang out with guys one on one, be the only girl in a group, or have private conversations with any guys that I am not related to. David wouldn’t hang out with girls one on one, be the only guy in a group, or have any private conversations with any girls that he is not related to. There are, of course, times when an exception is needed, but we decided that when those times arise, we will keep the other completely in the loop and only proceed with the other person’s consent. It has been a process, but I am pleased to say I am getting somewhere. I am now in the habit of spending time with women, not with men. I am in the habit of being guarded around men, for myself and for David. And I am in the habit of showing David my commitment and respect out of love daily.

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