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1/5 of a Century later…

20 March 2011

I was born twenty years and three days ago. I suppose that makes me a real adult now. I am not that awkward “in-between” anymore. There isn’t anything really significant about being 19. I suppose the only cool thing about it is being able to drink in Canada. (Whoop-dee-do. Let’s go to Canada. Oh, right. You need a passport to go there.) But now? Now, I am twenty. Now, I am no longer a teenager. I still can’t drink. But, I am officially “in my twenties,” whatever that means.

A lot has happened in this past year. On my eighteenth birthday, I was in Pennsylvania at school. A few months later, I was at Cedar Campus, where I stayed until the end of August. I spent a week at Matthew’s parents’ and then left their house after some intense drama that still effects my life negatively. I couch surfed at Eastern Michigan while trying to figure out what I was doing the coming semester and finally settled down on a farm for a few more months. I spent nearly nine months very ill. I went to the International House Party at Cedar Campus with some friends. I started school at Eastern Michigan and moved into an apartment. I got a job that I actually like. And now there are only four weeks left in this semester.

This year, I began a journey to find something deeper, to find wisdom only to discover that I am nowhere close to it yet. At Cedar Campus last summer, I spent a lot of time in prayer, communing with God and my brothers and sisters in Christ. I learned a lot about prayer: how it isn’t just words you say into the air hoping someone is listening, but instead a conversation – with the Creator of all of existence! I have learned so much about faith, trust, and believing. I have also learned a lot about love. I have learned a lot about forgiveness and moving on. My relationship with my family is healing. My heart is healing. My soul is healing. This caged bird is starting to sing… and the chains are falling off. I have learned what it truly means to walk in the Spirit, to walk in power! I have found a family unlike any I will ever find again. And I have begun the process of learning to like myself.

In all the years past that I have done this (17, 18, and 19), I seem to have felt like I had come so far in my personal growth. I don’t really feel that way this year. I mean, I feel like I have grown a lot! I feel like I am a completely different person…. but I also feel like I have found more things in me that need changing or maturation. I have struggled with more internal things this year past year than I have in a good while. So, I am not really sure what I should say in this. Hopefully next year will be more satisfying for all parties involved in either the reading or writing of it.

Hopefully, you, my friends, have seen some new light in me, some new wisdom. And hopefully next year, I will be much more wise.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. piper permalink
    29 March 2011 11:11

    An adult? Yeah…don’t think so sistah.


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